It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
