On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
