one might say we're banned from that church
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
