At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
