I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
please come you make the beer taste better
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
