we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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