this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
