How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
