I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
