I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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