you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
