the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
