he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
