If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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