I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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