dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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