How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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