You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
