My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
