Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My life is pants optional.
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