Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
