forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Who died my cat blue again?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
