you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
