That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
