Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
