Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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