is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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