she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
