I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
