dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
