proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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