i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
How external is "for external use only"?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
