I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
COCAINE IS GR8
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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