WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
