im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
