this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
