Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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