Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
are you so shy because you have an std?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
