Yo dont text me then not text me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
