You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize