Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize