Will you blow on my dice?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize