I must be too annoying 4 u.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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