Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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