I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
