And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize