I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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