Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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