yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
