After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
