her vagine was all disorganized.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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