And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
