just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
