The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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