I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
