There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize