He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
