4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
