How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize