his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
